As a featured speaker at Create & Cultivate Digital Summer Camp 2020, Whitney responded to questions from the attendees on how to manage relationships (both personal and professional) where the other person is draining their energy and keeping them from accomplishing their goals.
Create & Cultivate is a members-only online platform that brings together over a million women who want to create and cultivate the career of their dreams. Summer Camp is an annual summit hosted by Create & Cultivate that includes panel discussions, workshops, virtual networking, and mentor power hours. Whitney was featured during the Mentor Power Hour where she shared advice with attendees based on her experience as a successful entrepreneur.
Other people are draining all my energy. How do I find time for me?
Many of us are spending more time with our families during the pandemic and we’re interacting with colleagues and team members in different ways. Everyone is more stressed and more on edge. To keep people from sucking our energy or making us feel frustrated, Whitney had three recommendations.
First, practice clear communication. When you’re feeling tension with someone, tell them what’s happening, how it’s impacting you, and then suggest a solution. For example: your boss is emailing you consistently after 10 PM and you feel like you need to respond. Let them know that these emails are putting pressure on you to respond late at night. You can ask that they schedule emails to hit your inbox first thing in the morning so you can respond promptly without sacrificing your mental health. These are hard conversations to have, but it can help decrease your stress and improve your relationships.
Secondly, put people on pause if you need to. If there are people in your life that are causing you stress, it’s okay to take a step back from them. You can let them know you’re busy and won’t have as much time to respond to emails or calls. Then, you have to back it up — turn off notifications, don’t open emails, and don’t feel like you have to reply right away.
Finally, you have to invest time in yourself. Schedule time to do things that you enjoy and you’ll not only feel recharged, but you’ll also be less frustrated by other people. When we’re stressed or burnt out, we respond with more frustration when there’s conflict with others. Taking care of yourself helps cut down on the stress so you’ll feel better!
My partner isn’t as enthusiastic about or invested in my work, what should I do?
When you’re trying to start or grow a new venture, it’s so important to have support and accountability. If your business partner or partner in your relationship isn’t on the same page as you, it can be incredibly lonely and frustrating.
Whitney encouraged people who are experiencing this to find or create a tribe. A tribe is a community of people who are on the same page as you and who are willing to support you and hold you accountable. They’ll celebrate your wins with you and help you during challenging times. Whitney has seen the positive impact of this type of community in her coaching program, Take Back Your Time. She runs the program with small groups so her clients can build community with each other and get support while they’re working through the program.
If your business partner is not pulling their weight or is not investing their time, it’s also important to have a conversation with them and to look at whether they are holding up their end of your business agreement. If you’re splitting the money with someone else, they need to be contributing to the work at the level required.
When you’re pursuing personal and professional goals, it’s important to have the support of people around you. When people in our lives don’t understand our goals or are draining our energy, it’s time to make a change. By setting boundaries through clear communication and creating time for yourself, you can stop feeling overwhelmed. If you don’t have support from the people in your life, find or create a tribe of people that will be there to celebrate your wins and encourage you during tough times.